Sunday, June 26, 2011


Well, I just had a quick read back through my posts and this will be a short one from me but they're nearly ALL about Reid or my ex boyfriend Matt.

Matt did try and contact me again a few weeks ago via text message to reiterate what I rotten evil bitch I am. Pretty rich considering I'd spoken to him not a few weeks prior on the phone when he was crying and upset and needed someone to talk to and busted out the "you were the best girlfriend I ever had" line on me.

So, in an attempt to even out the ratio of posts about boys I will attach a picture of the two things I made this weekend as I have been reading a few food blogs. The cake was a little meh so I wont post the recipe. Might also just be because I don't like cake that and I can't bake to save my life.

The tuna salad was my own creation (if you could call a salad that - considering the effort factor). I realised a while ago that now I'm in my late twenties carbs are suddenly making me bloaty. When I quit smoking a few months ago I started eating a lot of subway and got a pronounced little potbelly happening which Reid determined was from all the bread. I decided I wanted to try a salad as I don't usually eat a lot of salad stuff and so was born my tuna salad. I have a few issues with my skin as well which I thought would clear when I quit smoking but it didn't so I'm now attempting to be healthier too.

Just a plain chocolate cake - nothing to write home about

Tuna Salad

1 tin smoked tuna slices in oil
Perino sweet snacking tomatoes (Delish!)
Baby spinach leaves
Sundried tomatoes
Slices of bocconcini cheese
1 hass avocado diced
1 small lebanese cucumber
Bottled ranch dressing

May I just say in closing that I really think I've found something amazingly special in Reid and its beautiful, amazing and scary as hell.  For now I just know I love him like I've loved no other. 

Good night all xox

Sunday, June 19, 2011

I won.

Sooooo it's been a while.

I guess I'll run from my last blog... that boy the unobtainable boy that I craved... he's kinda mine now.  Yeah ok, we're doing the long distance internet dating thing I guess but it doesn't FEEL like that. I've known him so long, in fact I went back through my old emails tonight and stumbled upon an email I sent him back in 09 pleading for his help with my consistent issues with my life/boyfriend/self. I think we met in May of 08 if memory serves me correctly.

Sadly I deleted a lot of the emails I've sent him over the years and made sure MSN history was not kept as my ex boyfriend was a paranoid schizophrenic and the LAST thing I wanted was to have an argument about it. I wish I could go back and read them. Not that I need to remember just how much he helped me as its still very clear in my mind.

Even just in the last couple of months our relationship has changed so much, I got really scared for a while there and it might of been due to me falling for him and getting worried because I couldn't have him. Not knowing where I stood or what he wanted or what I wanted. I'd freak out about everything at every turn but he told me to relax and eventually it got through. There's something about him that placates me, I trust him like the ground and if he say's I have nothing to worry about I don't 'believe' its true.. I know its true. I've never had that before and it makes me just so happy to be able to trust someone like that.

We've both been burned before, we both know that this is probably a bad idea but goddamn it we love each other and I will always be there for him no matter what, just as he has always been for me.

I'm so damn in love with him.