Wednesday, December 8, 2010



White Australian male, late 50's - The most amazing dad in the world!

White Australian female, late 50's - Issues out the wahzoo - probably mentally ill. Estranged.

Younger. Adopted from Korea - wasn't the most personable child growing up but but has matured into a beautiful intelligent young lady.

Extended family:
Barely know them.


Best friend/ Housemate: 
We're like chalk and cheese but go together like peas 'n carrots. I couldn't imagine life without her.

Internet friends:
Just the one... he knows who he is... and he'll probably be reading this. To you my friend <3

Interstate friends: 
One beautiful girl I spent three months with when I was 17. Obviously it didn't take us long to form a life long bond. Shes a fantastic person and an even better mum. I love her dearly and can't wait to be a bridesmaid at her wedding in 2012

One amazing gay boy I met recently on the sly through work. We weren't supposed to meet outside of work because he works for a contracted company of which we have some volatile dealings with and we were asked to keep our relationships completely professional. I'm so glad I met him. He's one of those people you meet and you instantly click with. He's been in my area for work a couple of times now and even though we've only met a few times I feel like I've known him forever. 

Everything below has been condensed, obviously there is a lot more I could add to justify my actions... but whats the point? I did what I did, I grew and I learned. 

Matthew 1 
Together age 16 till 21 
Nice enough boy I guess but completely retarded. Not his fault, he was all about having fun. He was bad with consequence and generally naive. He was an only child and used to complain a lot when really he should have been so grateful for what he had. He didn't appreciate me, had stick books of Jordan and Pamela types. He went to Indy one year for 5 weeks, I fretted pretty bad when he left. I was on sleeping pills. He'd tell me about all the hot chicks and promo models etc he'd met. It was while he was away and I was hurting and lonely I cheated on him with my 27 year old flatmate (I was 19).  After then I realised what it was like to be a piece of ass, yet when he got back all the pictures he took for five weeks were of him with promo girls etc. If either of us had known what a real relationship had entailed, it wouldn't have lasted anywhere near what it did. 

(two months single between relationships)

Matthew 2
Together 22 - 26 
I met this Matthew online. It wasn't meant to happen, I wasn't looking for a relationship but he swept me off my feet entirely.  I ended up flying to Brisbane on a whim to meet him and we stayed together in a hotel and honestly I had the best week of my life. No-one knew what I was up to, my dad to this day thinks I went there to meet a girlfriend. I would NEVER endorse this kind of dangerous spontaneousness. I was lucky.... especially since I knew from the beginning.... this boy was schizophrenic.
First things first, no he didn't beat or bash me, he did not have conversations with the wall or 'freak out'  . He did mess me up mentally though because he's like noone else I've ever met on both sides of the spectrum. There were occasions in this relationship where I'm not sure I could hurt any more, and if I did then I would surely die. He also made me feel amazing. Later I will post an email he sent me that I will never forget. 
Admittedly, I did find myself in an emotional affair during this relationship.... it was this little tryst that sealed the very long beginning of the end.

No comments:

Post a Comment