THAT Email.....

I can't say I don't feel anything when I read over this, I've been pondering as to whether to delete all the old emails he sent me.... 


This particular one would be hard to delete.... this one reminds me of a time when he had faith in me, when he believed in us, when he truly and honestly and madly loved me. It makes me sad that I don't have that anymore.


I blew it just as much as he did. The difference being, I'm willing to admit it and always have done.  This email however reminds me that there IS good in him and in a sense I do love him but I can NEVER EVER go back to the torture that was our relationship. My heart nor my head could withstand it.

A SNIPPET OF SOMETHING THAT WAS ONCE SO PURE..... 


 Thank you for being kind.
 Thank you for being patient.
 Thank you for dealing with my weird ways.
 Thank you for not getting all cut up over my past.
 Thank you for handling the whole mental illness thing well, even if you do 
 tard up on it sometiems.
 Thank you for not giving up.
 Thank you for inviting me into your house
 Thank you for thinking I'm worth facing the disapproval you face and still 
 keeping your head up
 Thank you for teh consideration you do show me.
 Thank you for the great time in brisbane
 Thank you for being an addict and spendign time with me online even when you 
 shouldn't.
 Thank you for being pretty and looking after yoruself liek that.
 Thank you for listening.
 Thank you for talking.
 Thank you for the way you look at me sometimes. The many different ways you 
 do that. :-D
 Thank you for not being a push over.
 Thank you for letting me have the time to learn to stop pushing.
 Thank you for defending me as a person to those that would judge much too 
 quickly.
 Thank you for the leaps of faith you have taken.
 Thank you for loving me, you could do much better. If you were a poorer 
 judge of charcter
 (I'm perfect after all, so thanks for being able to see it :-P)
 And I hope I can thank you for these things even after we've spent time 
 enough together for you to really see all my real faults, and failings.
 When they become apparent I hope I can thank you for the support to get 
 through them.
 Thank you for this chance, even if it goes sour, I respect you allready, 
 and probably always will for your ability to jump at life. If it has to 
 end, I hope you can do it in a way that lets me keep this respect.
 Very few people have ever earnt it. I hope you DO feel special.
 Thank you for putting up with tardish ways long enough to think again and 
 put it aside.
 I will be back soon. cya in a bit.
 
 I Love You completely. I crave more though.